Comic humour – Garfield minus Garfield

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic …Garfield minus Garfield

http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/

Funny quotations

“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.” – Daniel J. Boorstin

Funny quotation – the law

“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.” – Robert Frost

Funny school test answers

I doubt these are real answers from real students, but whoever came up with them is a true genius! I hope you enjoy them!

“The body consists of three parts – the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five – a, e, i, o, and u.”

“To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.”

“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”

“The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.”

“A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”

“Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.”

“A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.”

“The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.”

“Liter: A nest of young puppies.”

“Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.”

“Vacuum: A large mansion where the pope lives.”

“To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.”

“For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.”

“For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.”

“To prevent contraception, use a condominium.”

Funny quotation

“If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.” – Mel Brooks

Funny quotation

“Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?” – James Thurber

Funny pictures

Funny quotation

It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good-humor.

–Charles Dickens

Funny quotation

“Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.” – Jane Wagner

funny picture – Amazing mailboxes

More amazing mailboxes