And another funny quotation about football

Bill Shankly, the late, legendary Liverpool FC manager reputedly said, ‘Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I’m very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.’

Funny quotation about football

Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by committee meetings.

George Will

Funny quotation about football

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

Erma Bombeck

Joke – Doctor, doctor …

A man goes to the doctor complaining about stomach problems. The doctor asks him what he has been eating.

“I only eat pool balls,” he says. Red ones for breakfast, yellow and
orange for lunch, blue for afternoon snacks, and purple and black
for dinner.”

“I see the problem,” says the doctor. “You’re not getting enough
greens.”

What is a sense of humour?

“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”

William James

Job description for a mother

POSITION: Mother, Mom, Mama, Mum

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work
in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours,
which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on
rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

Under construction

“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.” – Noelie Altito

Funny quote from Rita Rudner

“I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn’t mine.” – Rita Rudner

Aah George Burns – funny, witty – here’s one of his …

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns

L.O., V.F. fun with the language and the alphabet! – great video!